Feelings

Have you noticed that our feelings and emotions can be really off this planet at times??? They can be really strong and really hard to handle. Sometimes we can be so sad, or REALLY angry and sometimes we're crazily happy happy happy!!!!

Such strong emotions can be hard to keep under control. Especially if someone has said or done something to hurt us and we don't know how to handle it. It can be really hard trying to tell someone that they've hurt us or to talk to someone about how we're really feeling.

One way of helping to deal with your emotions is to keep a journal - not a diary in which you write down your daily activities and usual stuff - but a journal that you may write in only occasionally to outline your deepest thoughts and feelings when you need to. You can put into a journal all those angry things you're feeling about what may have happened - and that you would never actually dream of saying aloud to someone! Or you can write some poetry if you're feeling a little sad. Maybe you could copy in some inspirational quotes or messages - reading them may help you feel better. Physically writing your feelings down can really help to sort your ideas out.

A word of caution though - if you don't want anyone to read this journal or would be SO embarrassed if someone did, then you're going to need to keep it in a very special place. Diaries and journals do seem to get into the 'wrong hands' now and then - especially if you have brothers and sisters around! One option might be to destroy the pages you've written with your deepest thoughts on, once you've worked through them, then they've been 'released' from you, but are still safe.

Another option is to talk to someone you really trust and respect - maybe a parent or care-giver or a really close friend. Someone that you know will really listen to you and be able to give you some good advice. A trouble shared is a trouble halved as they say, and sometimes simply getting something off your chest makes you feel a whole lot better. Your school counsellor, or Guide Leader could also be a good person to talk to if you're shy of talking with someone close.

When you've fallen out with someone, communication is so important - but you want to communicate in the best way possible, you don't want to make things worse by just having a slanging match and not getting anywhere. Everyone will only feel MORE miserable. Wait till you've calmed down and thought things through - what it is you want to say? Have a rough plan of what you're going to say and how you're going to say it. Try to use "I" sentences like "I feel ." or "It makes me feel. when you.." This is better than using sentences like, "you always." or "you never.". These 'you' type sentences will instantly put the other person on the defensive, and get their back up - feelings will escalate and it all turns to custard!

If you're having a real downer of a time and life just seems to suck, then you need to work on feeling a bit better. Sometimes we need adult help with this - your parent, care-giver, doctor, counsellor and so on. But there are just little things that we can try to help lift our mood.

Top tips for helping you feel sunnier!!!

• Smile - We all get in bad moods at times, but when you want to lift yourself out of it, trying to smile can't hurt. It's infectious after all!!!
  
  
• Try to look for the silver lining in the cloud to shake those bad feelings. In many bad situations, if you look hard enough, you can find something good - then you've got to accentuate it!!!
  
  
• Spend a little time with some mates or family who are positive and in good moods - they could help you find your smile again.
  
  
• Sing - yep, put on your fave CD (make it one with a bouncy beat), holler along to the lyrics and maybe do a bit of a boogie at the same time. You'll be taking in lots of air, the catchy rhythms will pep you up and hey, you feel a bit better!!!
  
  
• Stop and smell the flowers - When everything in life seems bad, just stop and look at that one little flower, or beautiful autumnal leaf or fat cat basking in the sun and enjoy the moment. Moment by moment, things can get better.
  
  
• You could phone Kids Line on 0800 KIDSLINE (0800 543 7540)